Showing posts with label Military. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Military. Show all posts

Thursday, April 3, 2014

April is Military Kid month

Yes it's that time of year again where we take time to appreciate the "Silent Ranks"  behind our service members. 

April is dedicated to Military Kids everywhere. 

This is to acknowledge all the sacrifices the give to help their military person do what they do. From missed birthdays & special occasions. To never ending of moving and relocating. 

To the deployments where you never know what's going to happen. Our kids do the best they can. 

For that, We thank you. 


Wednesday, August 7, 2013

National Purple Heart Day.

To our Hero's that have been awarded the Purple Heart-both wounded, and fallen, I honor you. I respect you and I remember you always. NEVER FORGET!!

 

Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Quiz: If You Love Your Kids Should You Leave the Military?/SpouceBUZZ.com

So as many Mil Spouses we are constantly inundated with research and facts about what is good and bad for our future grunts.

When I happened about this article on SpouceBUZZ.com and I have to say I agree...

have a read and let me know what you think.

Research on military kids is meant to help those most affected by more than a decade of war. Yet sometimes it seems deliberately compounded to freak out military parents.

According to this latest doom and gloom report from Child Trends, an online nonprofit research center, the greatest threat to military children is their separation from one or both parents — a major factor of military life that will not change any time soon.

These researchers note that developmentally, young children don’t possess the skills to understand why their parent is deployed. That’s true. Tell an infant that the big guy with the hairy chest will be home by Christmas and that kid will give you a blank infant stare. And spit up.

These researchers point out that every time a parent deploys the relationship with a child has to be re-established. That’s pretty much right.  No toddler is going to have a meaningful relationship with their soldier even if they do have their own iPad and Skype account.

These researchers also mention that children are resilient. Millions of children have had their dads and/or moms deploy and return. They have PCSed a bunch of times. These crazy military kids learn to read and do long division and get their driver’s licenses and make out with appropriately attractive partners.

So how much should we parents really worry about raising our military brats? If we love our kids, should we get out right away because raising kids in this environment is insane? Should we ignore any troubling signs in our kids and hope they go away? Should we burn with a vague unease that something is really, really, terribly wrong?

I don’t think so.  I think the takeaway from the research is for parents to understand that it isn’t the presence of a single factor like parental absence that will affect our kids adversely. Your kid will probably not be traumatized because your Marine deployed on a ship for nine months and missed their birthday.

Instead, it is the combination of ongoing multiple serious factors that seems to push kids into the at risk category.

Take our quiz to find out how concerned you really need to be:

1. Are you depressed, anxious or angry? According to decades of research, military kids tend to mirror their at-home parent or caregiver.  If you are handling your distress well enough, your kids are likely to do the same. This really is the most important factor to keep in mind — which is why it is so important to get help when you need it.

2. Are you unable to respond to your child’s needs? If you are so depressed that you can’t get out of bed or so hungover that you can’t get your kids to school then kids do suffer. Children whose lives are conducted with a reliable routine do better than those who come from chaotic homes.

3. Did your service member die? Or was he or she seriously injured?  Trauma — real trauma like the kind that accompanies death — is a risk for all kids, not only those in the military.  It causes physiological effects to the child that can impact the health, academic achievement and behavioral adjustment. Awareness of this factor is essential.  Hopefully, that’s why this kind of research is being done — to fund programs and solutions.

4. Does your service member exhibit symptoms of PTSD?  If there is one thing we can learn from the accounts of children of Vietnam War vets, it is that living with untreated PTSD makes for a long hard childhood. The research shows that children who witness ongoing incidents of adults exhibiting symptoms of TBI or PTSD are especially at risk for negative behavioral and physical outcomes. Keep seeking a solution to the problem for the sake of your kids.

5. Is your service member abusing you or your child? Families whose service member is returning from a combat zone have a higher incidence of domestic abuse.  Here are some ways to get help.
So how many of these risk factors are you experiencing right now? Are these problems getting better or getting worse?  Clearly, the more factors your family experiences, the more concerned you should be. The military offers so many services to families because we all know that sometimes the demands of military life are more than people can actually handle alone.

I think it is equally important to note that the fewer risk factors you have, the less time you should spend worrying.  It isn’t having a parent in the military alone that puts kids at risk, it is the behavior of their distressed parents that affects them.

That is why we need to pay attention to the research. Consistently, research on military kids shows that children do best in a military family in which their needs are met, their parents have a strong relationship and their siblings provide support to each other.

Providing a consistent home-life and working on our relationships and getting help when we need help are all concrete things we can actually do to help our military children. So let’s move forward by doing all the things our kids need most.





Thursday, June 6, 2013

An Open Letter to Military Benefits Haters | SpouseBUZZ.com

Normally I would not get on my soap box and express my opinions to the world let alone on this here blog to do so, but after the shear outrage that has been going on in the Military community I feel I must share this letter with my readers. I have to agree with the writer of this as what is being portrayed in the media is very far off from what actually happens. Without braking OPSEC (Operational Security) which are rules for all military and there families on how we conduct ourselves online and just about everywhere lol I will say this: As a young family its very hard to live off a military paycheck with small children even after being in service 5-6 years. Even after 10+ years its still really hard. Mostly because it does not matter how many hours the service member puts in the pay does not change. 80+ hrs a week and most times in the worst conditions one can think of with no change.

But then I saw this blog post and thought YES I so agree and wanted to share!

Have a read and let me know what you think.

Dear Military Benefits Haters  –

We’ve been having a rough go of it lately, haven’t we?  There you are, a civilian, absolutely convinced that the average service member is not worth his weight in pay and benefits.  And here I am, a military family member wondering how we got to this point – and why you are so misdirected about the value of the military.

I think the problem may be that you are confused. You’re there, sitting on your civilian sofa in your civilian house in the town of your choice after coming home from your civilian 9-5 job. You are feeling a little annoyed by the crazy awesome salaries that service members and military retirees score because, in comparison, yours aren’t that amazing. And hey! Your taxes are paying for us to have this fabulous stuff! You are incensed by the very existence of commissaries which, you gleefully note in news articles like this one,  is supported by tax payers all so that military folks can have access to “15 types of ketchup” at Lejeune. You think they should close.
And over here, you proclaim our benefits – the things we get in exchange for the willingness to die for America – as lavish.

It isn’t so much the idea of shutting the commissaries that bothers me. While they do seem like a vital part of life overseas, stateside the argument that they are superfluous at most bases doesn’t seem that farfetched. In most cases, as the author of this peachy story notes, there really are other options. Same thing goes for fitness centers and recreation on bases around the country.
Don’t get me wrong – I love that stuff and I use it all regularly. But I could live without it just fine. If it comes down to bullets or bagels, I’d go with the bullets any day.

What bothers me about these and other stories and columns like them is your tone.
Service members, retirees and their families, the tone says, are acting like privileged brats for expecting, accepting and clinging to the benefits which encourage them to stay military or even to join in the first place.

In fact, the tone says, it is a waste of tax payer money to meet military personnel needs or even give nice-to-haves in exchange for keeping them around.

Service members are overpaid, coddled low-skill workers who should not be given compensation for the inconveniences of military life, but who should still be expected to do their jobs anyway.
It’s a tone that says if you had to join the military to make it through life you are, logically, a substandard American worker and you do not warrant compensation in excess or even equal to the civilian market. Civilians are people who have choices and didn’t take the easy out of Uncle Sam.

Military are people who are living off the tax payer.
The tone is supported by the flinging of inaccurate statistics to support your claims or, worse, the promotion sof weeping generalities about who servicemembers are and what they deserve.

Bad Statistics and Comparisons

Here’s this gem from the Post’s story:
“Over the past decade, military salaries have grown at a faster rate than those of civilian workers. The average enlisted soldier now earns more than 90 percent of Americans who have less than two years of college. Most Army captains – the third-most-junior rank of officer – will take home more than $90,000 this year.”
I’m going to disregard that ridiculous first sentence that ignores the fact that we also, over the past decade, have been paid for deployment after deployment and all the tolls of war. Let’s just focus on the compensation “facts.”

Only one in five Americans is even in good enough physical shape to join the Army. That means that to be the “average enlisted soldier” the author talks about, a recruit already had to do something most Americans can’t – be fit. A whole other group of Americans is ineligible because they didn’t graduate high school or because they have a criminal record. He also had to be willing to join the military at all, which puts him in a group with less than one percent of Americans.

After he joins that soldier then holds a more than full time job, often over 80 hours a week, for which he must continue to meet requirements such as staying fit and felony free. He very likely does an intricate task that no average American with less than two years of college could do without months of dedication and training. He probably has also spent more than nine full months multiple times away from his family working around the clock where he put his life on the line and accepted the continuing burdens of war as part of the gig. He’s likely to have held this same job for around five or six years.

Why is it unreasonable that this soldier make more than 90 percent of Americans who have less than two years of college? And how is that a good group of people to compare him to at all?
And then there is his statement about Army captains and what I can only assume must be a gross misuse of the term “take home,” which is generally accepted to mean “income after taxes.”
Army officers – or any officers, for that matter – are compensated at a higher rate based on education and responsibility, at least in theory. While a captain may make “more than $90,000” before taxes in a very high housing allowance area such as D.C., the average captain certainly does not. A little math reveals that a captain with seven years of Army experience living in San Antonio, Texas with dependents, for example, makes about $86,000 before taxes. But a breakdown of average hours worked by our case study during a year in which he does not deploy shows that he earns around $25 an hour.

And no matter how you shake it out, none of these examples are “more than $90,000″ after taxes.
 In 2010 the average male graduate just out of college earned about $22 an hour. After graduating college and spending seven years on the job with countless additional months in training, an Army captain is making about $25 an hour for putting his life on the line, being willing to live wherever the Army sends him and leave his family for months at a time. He also has met all the qualifications of the “average enlisted soldier” that made that person valuable including, again, an interest in joining to start with.

Are high personnel costs really a problem?

As America rolled into sequestration and other budget cuts, DoD leaders decried the high cost of personnel. After all, they said, supporting current and former military members takes up a third of the DoD 2013 budget.  And with the DoD budget as a whole taking up the biggest “single slice of the federal budget at Social Security,” something surely must be done.
But what they fail to note is that personnel costs really aren’t that ridiculous when compared to the normal market. As the Military Officers Association of America (MOAA) points out, in civilian companies with big air fleets (the closest they could get to a military comparison), personnel costs hover at similar levels.
For the United Parcel Service, for example, personnel costs make up 61 percent of the budget. For FedEx, it’s 43 percent. For Southwest Airlines – generally recognized as among the most cost-efficient air carriers – personnel costs comprise 31 percent of operating revenue (which includes profit, so the percentage of expenditures is higher).
The idea that the Defense Budget is so out of control is also misleading, particularly when you look to past trends. This MOAA graph shows that it hovers below 20 percent – whereas in 1962 it was closer to 50 percent.

If it’s so great, where are you?

But here’s the thing that really gets me.
If the pay and benefits for members of the American military are so lavish and such a steal of a deal, where are you, Benefits Hater?

Because that’s the thing that’s so great about the American military. You don’t have to be special or an elitist to hang out with us. You don’t even have to be an American citizen. You just have to meet the requirements and be willing to run while wearing boots.
This isn’t some exclusive club. We like all types of people. We’re cool like that.
So perhaps you don’t join because you can’t meet the qualifications that us low-skill, not worthy of benefits folks met.

Or maybe you just love your freedoms and hate danger. Maybe you like picking where you live. Maybe your spouse has a career she doesn’t want to destroy by moving every three years. Maybe you don’t want to risk getting blown up in the street while driving through a far away land.
Those freedoms? We gave you those and make sure you keep them.
Try remembering that and then see how you feel about military benefits.

Sincerely,
Amy



Friday, May 10, 2013

May 10th is Military Spouse Appreciation Day

Today is the day where no matter where you are in the world it's Military Spouse Appreciation Day. It's the day we say "Thank you" to those that keep the home fires burning. To those that tend to be forgotten in the mix of politics and what is "needed".

As a Military Spouse I am very appreciative of what I have. Where I have been, as well as what the Military has taught me. Even if it is in retrospect. (Hey I can admit it lol)

 This is a poem I have carried with me and I find it fitting on today:

Warrior
 
I never wore the uniform,
no medals on my chest.
The band it doesn't play for me,
I am not among the Best.
I do not march in cadence,
I do not rate salute,
I stand among the silent ranks,
our devotion absolute.

If you've not worn my shoes,
you do not know my story.
I live a life of sacrifice,
my reward a private glory.
I've wept many silent nights away,
and I've kept the home fires burning.
I've worried and I've waited,
as world events were churning.

I've moved more times than you could fathom,
left more people than you've known.
I've planted gardens round the world --
Very few that I've seen grown.
I've grieved with new-made widows,
and had my share of scares --
when a ship or plane or man was down,
and all I had were prayers.

I'm not asking for your sympathy,
(although appreciation can be nice)
I did it quite on purpose though --
I chose to sacrifice.
I'll tell you a secret now,
one you'd never guess.
About the one glory that is mine,
it's just enough, no more, no less.

When you and I stand together
as our national anthem plays,
I'll fill with reminiscences
of how I spent those days.
I'll know the pain and joys again,
I'll know that freedom isn't free,
I'll know I've helped to pay the price,

and that the anthem plays for me.





Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Why Didn't You Tell Me To Shoot The Smoke Alarm? | SpouseBUZZ.com

To all that have been reading my post, Thank you! It has meant a lot to me. So I wanted to share something so funny I can hardly catch my breath long enough to write this.

As a military spouse I follow and read a lot of MLS blogs. Mainly to keep tabs on what is going on in the world that I am so a part of. Well this post came to me just a bit ago and I just could not stop laughing. Why Didn't You Tell Me To Shoot The Smoke Alarm? | SpouseBUZZ.com
 I think this applies to more then just Military wives but anyone who is home when something goes way wrong. I hope you enjoy as much as I did. Remember take some time out of your day just to laugh!

Cheers!


Wednesday, April 10, 2013

April is Military Child Month

In dedication to April being Military Child month I am taking a moment to reflect on how strong my kiddlets big and little really are.

But more so how all the craziness that is this lifestyle really is on a blended military family such as ours. My oldest daughter "S" was an only child before I got married to her step dad.  (I recently did a guest post on how I meet my Marine you can read  Our love story ) "S" was not part of this lifestyle like I had been growing up. So on the day I said "I do" she was saying "I do" as well but not to just having  a dad around or new found siblings from his side or that were to come. She was saying "I do" to the military way of life. Oh boy was that in its self and still can be a culture shock for her. The total excitement of FINALLY having a dad of her own just for him to leave not long after was crushing to her. The realizing he would miss dance classes and performances, school projects and birthdays was almost spirit braking for her. In some ways it still is even as she starts to embark on her teenage years. But some how in her own way she musters on. You can see it when you ask her to tell you about her dad and her aunts and uncles, She lights up like the fourth of July at being given the chance to talk about "HER FAMILY."

For my wee ones it seems to have been a bit easier. But not by much. It's the only lifestyle they have ever known. We all have had to learn the Military's motto of: "Hurry up and wait". Meaning orders come down and we are suppose to be moving oh lets say next week, (Uncommon yes but it has happen to us now twice!) We all go into a frenzy at packing and getting everything organized. The older ones start saying their "Good-byes" to friend's and making sure they have everyone's emails so that they can keep in touch. Only to find out "Nah, we are not going after all this time."

But for all these depressing moment's comes the little joys we all get when we realize "DADDY IS COMING HOME TODAY!!"  Maybe its just as simple as hearing hysterical laughter coming from the computer area as one of the older kids is reading an email Dad sent or they are in an intense competitions on a computer came together. One of my favorite moments is when on Skype a wee one leans in and gives Daddy kisses to say "night-night".  These are the moments that touch me all the way to my soul.

The moments that remind me not of what they are missing out on but what they have gained from all of this.

Love. They have gained and understanding that love is not bounded by borders or presence. It is endless and limitless. The understanding that they know they are part of something much bigger then themselves and that matters to more people then just our family.